I need some

[SonnyG8R]

The guy is ready to move on anyway, he just needed the kick in the ass to get him going. I hope you don't drop the charges. He has doen this before and gotten away with it. You need to have him prosecuted to the fullest extnet of the law and probably mention that this wasn't his first time. That way if the bastard every touches you again he will be a repeat offender, and maybe get what he actually deserves.

Seriously, if you drop the charges and let him back in the house you are enabling him and you deserve what you get.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but far too many women let this happen to themselves over and over and the beatings only get worse. Then the man makes an impassioned apology, the wife forgives him and the cycle of abuse begins again.

[Explosivo]

I dont know if this has been asked yet because I havent read all posts in this thread, but was it YOU that you were talking about the otherday when you asked about your "Friend" whos husband has all this **** and doesnt want to **** her? You also mentioned something about your "friend" having the guy arrested. I am just putting 2+2 together here...

[Torino]

I honestly wish him no ill will.

I want him to be happy and I want to be happy myself.

I won't take him back unless he meets certain requirements...and since I know him so well, he won't go for it. He's a very stubborn man.

I'm done.

I don't know if this was a one time thing or if you are frequently battered. One thing I've learned, most reasonable people know when it's time to end a relationship and walk away. MCM, You seems to be that kind of person. If it's time, do it.

If this is his first "assault" offense, (not just domestic violence) he might not go to jail.

MCM, you are the only one that knows the extent of what he's done. If you feel he deserves another chance that may or may not be good. If you are not battered, you do have kids, and have been married such a long time, I would encourage trying to fix it only if he gets anger management help and meets any other criteria you have. And don't let him back in until he completes all his therapy.

And don't worry about his stubborness, the courts have a way of making people do what they want.

Think it over, good luck MCM.

[puppy_dogg]

legal question- how the hell does the woman always end up with the house in these kind of situation's, even when the guy bought it?
this is not directed at mom cause i dont know her situation with this, im just throwin the question out there.

[hectari]

Damn gives MCM a big hug! that is some cowardice! that is what I dont get with these tough guys isnt the martial arts supposed to prevent violence? not to be racist but I think white guys who do martial arts need to really study the philosophy as well.

No man should beat up his wife. You did the right thing.

[nance]

legal question- how the hell does the woman always end up with the house in these kind of situation's, even when the guy bought it?
this is not directed at mom cause i dont know her situation with this, im just throwin the question out there.

My name is on the deed. We bought the house together. I have been the kids' primary caregiver for their whole lives. He works the swings, so he's not around anyhow. I also need the home for the kids.

Cali law is fair and clear. All liabilities and assets, straight down the middle. UNLESS: It was brought into the marriage or it was a gift or inheritance. That simple.

I don't want him going to jail, first time offense(legally) because if he loses his job, the kids are screwed...they need their father's support. I have no problem going out and getting a job, but I need think on what kind. I haven't worked in 20 years....

I want him to get counseling and move forward. I want him to be happy too...if he's happy and I'm happy, the kids will eventually be happy.

I actually slept solid last night. I've also lost 7 lbs since Sunday....

[nance]

I don't know if this was a one time thing or if you are frequently battered. One thing I've learned, most reasonable people know when it's time to end a relationship and walk away. MCM, You seems to be that kind of person. If it's time, do it.

If this is his first "assault" offense, (not just domestic violence) he might not go to jail.

MCM, you are the only one that knows the extent of what he's done. If you feel he deserves another chance that may or may not be good. If you are not battered, you do have kids, and have been married such a long time, I would encourage trying to fix it only if he gets anger management help and meets any other criteria you have. And don't let him back in until he completes all his therapy.

And don't worry about his stubborness, the courts have a way of making people do what they want.

Think it over, good luck MCM.

It's been going on for years....sad to say I didn't do this sooner, but I'm doing it now. I wasn't strong enough before...I am now.

My daughter(19yrold) saw him last night. She wouldnt' tell me, but told my dad that her daddy looked disoriented....I can see that...but he made his bed...now he has to lie in it. I feel for him, but I don't want him back. I hurt too much.

[SonnyG8R]

My name is on the deed. We bought the house together. I have been the kids' primary caregiver for their whole lives. He works the swings, so he's not around anyhow. I also need the home for the kids.

Cali law is fair and clear. All liabilities and assets, straight down the middle. UNLESS: It was brought into the marriage or it was a gift or inheritance. That simple.

I don't want him going to jail, first time offense(legally) because if he loses his job, the kids are screwed...they need their father's support. I have no problem going out and getting a job, but I need think on what kind. I haven't worked in 20 years....

I want him to get counseling and move forward. I want him to be happy too...if he's happy and I'm happy, the kids will eventually be happy.

I actually slept solid last night. I've also lost 7 lbs since Sunday....

He won't go to jail if this is his "first" offense but you should not drop the charges in my opinion. You're just enabling him if you do.

[Allison]

legal question- how the hell does the woman always end up with the house in these kind of situation's, even when the guy bought it?
this is not directed at mom cause i dont know her situation with this, im just throwin the question out there.

It depends on the state, but in most states, your primary residence automatically belongs to you and your spouse, regardless of who bought it.

For instance, I, as a single woman buy a house. In a year, I get married. In two years, my husband and I divorce. This house is legally half his because of Constitutional Homestead laws. If ever one party is given the house, it is done by a judge in court, not by any default statute.

[Parodius]

It's been going on for years....sad to say I didn't do this sooner, but I'm doing it now. I wasn't strong enough before...I am now.

My daughter(19yrold) saw him last night. She wouldnt' tell me, but told my dad that her daddy looked disoriented....I can see that...but he made his bed...now he has to lie in it. I feel for him, but I don't want him back. I hurt too much.

Sorry to hear that. You should've had his ass out along time ago. I can't believe you waited 20 years. It's sad that many woman gets hit by some spineless man. Be strong, because 20 years a long time, you might still love him. I wish the best for you & your kids. Hopefully everything will be better within a year.