Self Change

[*TonyMontana*]

On a mission of self improvement

I have a son and my mission started when he was born as I dont want him to be anything like me

I want him to be great and successful in any area he chooses but for that to happen he cant have what I am as his role model

I have done well and have achieved most self improvement goals I set myself so far

But I have this voice telling me it's all in vein and to be honest I do have a history of being back and forth between the right and wrong path in life

So my question is

Do you think a person is really capable of self change or am I kidding myself here?

Can I change myself while staying true to my roots?

[man down]

On a mission of self improvement

I have a son and my mission started when he was born as I dont want him to be anything like me

I want him to be great and successful in any area he chooses but for that to happen he cant have what I am as his role model

I have done well and have achieved most self improvement goals I set myself so far

But I have this voice telling me it's all in vein and to be honest I do have a history of being back and forth between the right and wrong path in life

So my question is

Do you think a person is really capable of self change or am I kidding myself here?

Can I change myself while staying true to my roots?

You can change bro. I changed for the worse. I built myself up in the gym. Got all kinds of wrong attention. Never cheated but can pretty close with girls half my age, hard to resist.

Now I'm just trying to stay cut and not stick out as much. My family is more important.

When you have girls asking your wife if they can feel your arm it teds to being on a ego and issues.
Family first now.

[*TonyMontana*]

You can change bro. I changed for the worse. I built myself up in the gym. Got all kinds of wrong attention. Never cheated but can pretty close with girls half my age, hard to resist.

Now I'm just trying to stay cut and not stick out as much. My family is more important.

When you have girls asking your wife if they can feel your arm it teds to being on a ego and issues.
Family first now.

Yeah dont cheat it will eat at you even though its fun

that's one of things I did in the end and he will know about it and I dont want him doing that
Rather he has a healthy relationships

My ego is one of my worst enemies
Gets me Into so much crap but it's also what keeps me going(I learned from Ali ego can be great if used correct but I struggle to keep a balance)

He will know I'm a hard working man but hes gunna hear crazy stories
Hes gunna ask about the scars
His sisters will tell him some stuff

So hes gunna see what im trying to change but I wanna be able to tell him look I took control and im not that guy

You ever see mike tyson hotbox with sugar ray
And he cries saying hes changed and it's good but he feels like a bltch

That's what I'm scared of most

[GhostofDempsey]

You can change your behaviors, and over time your priorities will dictate that behavior. For now, let your son be the angel on your shoulder for inspiration. Be the man you want him to be, because as he gets older he won’t just listen to what you say, he will adopt your behaviors, especially if he looks up to you. I turned my life around 180, but it didn’t happen overnight. It took time, and it took work. Sometimes I still feel the devil on my other shoulder. When you feel yourself being pulled back, ask yourself “what have I got to gain, and what have I got to lose?” That should help guide your choices.

Leave the past behind you. Don’t think that you cannot change. Your personality will be the same, but let your values drive your behavior.

[*TonyMontana*]

he will adopt your behaviors, especially if he looks up to you. I turned my life around 180, but it didn’t happen overnight. It took time, and it took work. Sometimes I still feel the devil on my other shoulder. When you feel yourself being pulled back, ask yourself “what have I got to gain, and what have I got to lose?” That should help guide your choices.

Leave the past behind you. Don’t think that you cannot change. Your personality will be the same, but let your values drive your behavior.

This is my main concern is he adopts my behaviours
I'm somebody he can look up to as all my daughters do but I definitely need to change a few bad traits and they are bad I have to admit

But I dont wanna be a dlckhead either

You picked up on the past huh

That's my trigger for everything it's always there...as it should be I mean nobody should be ashamed where they came from put I need to show him(and myself) that the past does not control you

But I'm really bad at letting it do that

Stops me achieving the things I really want

35years old and only now trying to but my bigboy shoes on and walk down the mans path in life

I want him to know a gentleman

Not a criminal thug

Thanks man

[phallus]

On a mission of self improvement

I have a son and my mission started when he was born as I dont want him to be anything like me

I want him to be great and successful in any area he chooses but for that to happen he cant have what I am as his role model

I have done well and have achieved most self improvement goals I set myself so far

But I have this voice telling me it's all in vein and to be honest I do have a history of being back and forth between the right and wrong path in life

So my question is

Do you think a person is really capable of self change or am I kidding myself here?

Can I change myself while staying true to my roots?

Yeah dont cheat it will eat at you even though its fun

that's one of things I did in the end and he will know about it and I dont want him doing that
Rather he has a healthy relationships

My ego is one of my worst enemies
Gets me Into so much crap but it's also what keeps me going(I learned from Ali ego can be great if used correct but I struggle to keep a balance)

He will know I'm a hard working man but hes gunna hear crazy stories
Hes gunna ask about the scars
His sisters will tell him some stuff

So hes gunna see what im trying to change but I wanna be able to tell him look I took control and im not that guy

You ever see mike tyson hotbox with sugar ray
And he cries saying hes changed and it's good but he feels like a bltch

That's what I'm scared of most

You can change your behaviors, and over time your priorities will dictate that behavior. For now, let your son be the angel on your shoulder for inspiration. Be the man you want him to be, because as he gets older he won’t just listen to what you say, he will adopt your behaviors, especially if he looks up to you. I turned my life around 180, but it didn’t happen overnight. It took time, and it took work. Sometimes I still feel the devil on my other shoulder. When you feel yourself being pulled back, ask yourself “what have I got to gain, and what have I got to lose?” That should help guide your choices.

Leave the past behind you. Don’t think that you cannot change. Your personality will be the same, but let your values drive your behavior.

these are all really good posts, I have two adult children and they are very different from me. lol, I don't know if I was a "good" parent but my kids are not addicted to drugs (which are an epidemic in the city I live in) and seem to have decent lives. my ex-wife is a really good mother, I think that has the most to do with my kids, but anyway, children need stability and affection to grow up properly. as long as what you're telling them to value isn't a lie, and you live as honestly as you can, probably your kids will grow up to be the same.

[*TonyMontana*]

these are all really good posts, I have two adult children and they are very different from me. lol, I don't know if I was a "good" parent but my kids are not addicted to drugs (which are an epidemic in the city I live in) and seem to have decent lives. my ex-wife is a really good mother, I think that has the most to do with my kids, but anyway, children need stability and affection to grow up properly. as long as what you're telling them to value isn't a lie, and you live as honestly as you can, probably your kids will grow up to be the same.

This is why I love this place you can speak to friends or even professionals and get silly short quick fixes

You guys always speak from experience and tell heart

Drugs where never an issue apart from selling them but I know enough to show him that's no life it's a trap and you only hustle your heart and soul doing it

Ahhh their mum is crazy as hell but shes a good woman
We are no longer together but its actually for the best

I agree about living honestly it's a good mantra even with mistakes and that's exactly how I am but sometimes I'm a little to honest with them

One of my daughters thinks im at war with police due to stuff she saw and nothing I can do can change her mind

I even tell her look I get profiled but that's because of my own doing and how I choose to carry myself due to fear kiddo and you dont have to be like that

And shes not

But it's different with males I mean what if he sees it as yeah daddy was a badman and then he went soft

Or like I said originally what if it's just a front and I end up regressing to who I am

Ahhh it's so messed up

I feel bad that having daughters never kicked it in for me

To cut it short
Toxic masculinity sums me up and I dont wanna be like that anymore I want him to be a gentleman

[phallus]

This is why I love this place you can speak to friends or even professionals and get silly short quick fixes

You guys always speak from experience and tell heart

Drugs where never an issue apart from selling them but I know enough to show him that's no life it's a trap and you only hustle your heart and soul doing it

Ahhh their mum is crazy as hell but shes a good woman
We are no longer together but its actually for the best

I agree about living honestly it's a good mantra even with mistakes and that's exactly how I am but sometimes I'm a little to honest with them

One of my daughters thinks im at war with police due to stuff she saw and nothing I can do can change her mind

I even tell her look I get profiled but that's because of my own doing and how I choose to carry myself due to fear kiddo and you dont have to be like that

And shes not

But it's different with males I mean what if he sees it as yeah daddy was a badman and then he went soft

Or like I said originally what if it's just a front and I end up regressing to who I am

Ahhh it's so messed up

I feel bad that having daughters never kicked it in for me

To cut it short
Toxic masculinity sums me up and I dont wanna be like that anymore I want him to be a gentleman

the last part is a tough question, my kids were born in '94 and '95, and things were a lot different back then, it was ok to be a man, radical feminism hadn't reached the extreme its at today. basically, real toxic masculinity (not what femi****s think is toxic) comes from insecurity. give your son a loving stable home and he will grow to up to know what real man is supposed to be. wanna be gangstas and wife beaters are all immature males who never learned self- control or proper discipline. I always told my son the truth, even when it hurt or I knew he wouldn't like it.

[Boxfan83]

On a mission of self improvement

I have a son and my mission started when he was born as I dont want him to be anything like me

I want him to be great and successful in any area he chooses but for that to happen he cant have what I am as his role model

I have done well and have achieved most self improvement goals I set myself so far

But I have this voice telling me it's all in vein and to be honest I do have a history of being back and forth between the right and wrong path in life

So my question is

Do you think a person is really capable of self change or am I kidding myself here?

Can I change myself while staying true to my roots?

Sure u can change but from self experience u have to do it for yourself. Drinking was a horrible vice of mine, I haven't drank in 20 months because I finally just had enough.

[*TonyMontana*]

the last part is a tough question, my kids were born in '94 and '95, and things were a lot different back then, it was ok to be a man, radical feminism hadn't reached the extreme its at today. basically, real toxic masculinity (not what femi****s think is toxic) comes from insecurity. give your son a loving stable home and he will grow to up to know what real man is supposed to be. wanna be gangstas and wife beaters are all immature males who never learned self- control or proper discipline. I always told my son the truth, even when it hurt or I knew he wouldn't like it.

Yeah I was from the era and an area where "weak" men where crucified...I had too much discipline and it made me rebel more but it hasn't made me soft as a dad
I'm their father before I'm their friend and rules and boundaries are good for children I know this

I want him to have that balance I could never find where he can be strong and manly but also soft and kind...you know....but with drive and clarity

For the record never beat a woman but the wanna be gangster thing i grew into

Left all that behind long ago but have PTSD because of it and the traits stayed....and that's my biggest concern for him

Can you get a life coach at 35 haha