Self Change

[*TonyMontana*]

Sure u can change but from self experience u have to do it for yourself. Drinking was a horrible vice of mine, I haven't drank in 20 months because I finally just had enough.

Drinking became an issue long ago for me but at first I went stone sober for a 6months...then a relapse...then I went AA and met a bunch on female nymphos and god fearing males😂 I bounced quick but picked up a few tools doing it so I got a handle on it I exercise now instead of drink but I find myself on the odd weekend having a beer but I know my limits now

Still wanna be the total again though

Cong**** on the 20 months that is one huge achievement I'm sure half the lounge can agree with

Impressive and keep it up

[*TonyMontana*]

Sure u can change but from self experience u have to do it for yourself.

This is where I struggle and I have known this a while now

Mate I cant care about myself even when it appears so it's just a front

Been trying to learn to love myself but then my ego gets too big and then I'm that guy again or I think about stuff from years back and tell myself im not allowed

Proper trapped in my own head

Selfish really

[phallus]

Yeah I was from the era and an area where "weak" men where crucified...I had too much discipline and it made me rebel more but it hasn't made me soft as a dad
I'm their father before I'm their friend and rules and boundaries are good for children I know this

I want him to have that balance I could never find where he can be strong and manly but also soft and kind...you know....but with drive and clarity

For the record never beat a woman but the wanna be gangster thing i grew into

Left all that behind long ago but have PTSD because of it and the traits stayed....and that's my biggest concern for him

Can you get a life coach at 35 haha

yeah, you can get a life coach at any age, lol, just make sure he's giving you good advice. the bold part you're talking about is personality traits, not things that can be taught. when you have kids they will have different personalities, my son is not like me, he is interested in different things. I'm happy he has his own life and goals. just teach him to be a kind and honest man and he will probably be close to what you're looking for

[Boxfan83]

This is where I struggle and I have known this a while now

Mate I cant care about myself even when it appears so it's just a front

Been trying to learn to love myself but then my ego gets too big and then I'm that guy again or I think about stuff from years back and tell myself im not allowed

Proper trapped in my own head

Selfish really

Just find balance than man. Do something morally good for every drunken 1 night stand u have. Learn to forgive yourself. Your a man, u are just flesh.

I believe in God. Not saying you have to but I think we all need balance of good and evil.

[Willy Wanker]

On a mission of self improvement

I have a son and my mission started when he was born as I dont want him to be anything like me

I want him to be great and successful in any area he chooses but for that to happen he cant have what I am as his role model

I have done well and have achieved most self improvement goals I set myself so far

But I have this voice telling me it's all in vein and to be honest I do have a history of being back and forth between the right and wrong path in life

So my question is

Do you think a person is really capable of self change or am I kidding myself here?

Can I change myself while staying true to my roots?

One thing that motivates people to change is a true purpose and you have that with your kids, and your son especially.

You already have the desire and purpose, all you need now is time to grow into the man you want to become. It's like being an addict. Having a drug relapse is normal among addicts, slipping back into behaviors you might be ashamed of. There's going to be challenges and times you feel like you're failing, like now.

You're going to have a lot of feelings of guilt that comes from your own self-reflection. You need that, it's part of the healing process.

Some people never change because change is f**king hard to be honest lol. But there's nothing better in life than looking at the past, and then looking at the present and seeing how far you've come.

You have ways to go, we all do man. But ask yourself are you better off now than you were 5 years ago? 10, 15 years ago? I think you might see that if you've already made some good progress and gained a lot of wisdom through your experiences, good and bad. I hope that motivates you to make even more progress.

[GrandmasterWang]

You can change your behaviors, and over time your priorities will dictate that behavior. For now, let your son be the angel on your shoulder for inspiration. Be the man you want him to be, because as he gets older he won’t just listen to what you say, he will adopt your behaviors, especially if he looks up to you. I turned my life around 180, but it didn’t happen overnight. It took time, and it took work. Sometimes I still feel the devil on my other shoulder. When you feel yourself being pulled back, ask yourself “what have I got to gain, and what have I got to lose?” That should help guide your choices.

Leave the past behind you. Don’t think that you cannot change. Your personality will be the same, but let your values drive your behavior.

Excellent post!

[*TonyMontana*]

One thing that motivates people to change is a true purpose and you have that with your kids, and your son especially.

You already have the desire and purpose, all you need now is time to grow into the man you want to become. It's like being an addict. Having a drug relapse is normal among addicts, slipping back into behaviors you might be ashamed of. There's going to be challenges and times you feel like you're failing, like now.

You're going to have a lot of feelings of guilt that comes from your own self-reflection. You need that, it's part of the healing process.

Some people never change because change is f**king hard to be honest lol. But there's nothing better in life than looking at the past, and then looking at the present and seeing how far you've come.

You have ways to go, we all do man. But ask yourself are you better off now than you were 5 years ago? 10, 15 years ago? I think you might see that if you've already made some good progress and gained a lot of wisdom through your experiences, good and bad. I hope that motivates you to make even more progress.

Yeah I am definitely better now than I ever was
The past made me strong but also realised recently how much it messed me up

But I wont quit and just go back to old ways

Thank you willy

[*TonyMontana*]

yeah, you can get a life coach at any age, lol, just make sure he's giving you good advice. the bold part you're talking about is personality traits, not things that can be taught. when you have kids they will have different personalities, my son is not like me, he is interested in different things. I'm happy he has his own life and goals. just teach him to be a kind and honest man and he will probably be close to what you're looking for

Ah I was joking about a coach he would quit on me like naaahhhhh bro your unsaveable haha

Kind and honesty is what I'm going to show him

Thank you

[Larry the boss]

Yes you can change, first step is to change the people you surround yourself with and start doing positive things you and you son can share together. It is a wonderful thing to wake up with an agenda that is not negative or illegal. you can do it..im rooting for ya..

[*TonyMontana*]

Yes you can change, first step is to change the people you surround yourself with and start doing positive things you and you son can share together. It is a wonderful thing to wake up with an agenda that is not negative or illegal. you can do it..im rooting for ya..

You are actually one of the many reasons I want to do this

I know a bit of your struggles and obviously your past but as we are friends on facebook I see more than most do on here with what you do for your children and others and it's honestly inspiring

And you stayed true to yourself doing it

Your a great man larry

Also happy belated birthday