My list of ***ual exploits

[-jose-]

I imagine Jose would be gassy.

Stop acting like you don't know Phreshy.

[New England]

this rugged ****.

[ßringer]

It's all love, NE.

[spytactics]

Bringer, please stop trying to be like Anorak. You do not possess that spontaneous dark humor from left field that anorak has gained through years of child ******ation.

[-MAKAVELLI-]

Im so glad I never gave it up to this prick..take your San Mig Lites and your Lakers Championship videos and shove it

[Money_May]

[ßringer]

Bringer, please stop trying to be like Anorak. You do not possess that spontaneous dark humor from left field that anorak has gained through years of child ******ation.

How am I "trying to be like Anorak", exactly? Because I posted something funny, or because I posted something gay?

I've been making gay threads and pwn threads since 2006. Check my history or ask some of the old-school members like Oasis Lad, Hoff, -Hyperion-, Dwiens421, or warp1432. This isn't some new shoe I'm trying on here, you just don't seem to know my history very well.

[Weltschmerz]

LacedUp

Well, I must say I had great expectations for this gig, especially considering our very recent date at the Dome where we shared shirtless pictures and engaged in random **** e-foreplay as you usually do when trying to hook up with strangers (ask specifically Analwreck for more insight knowledge).

But I must say I was disappointed. I knew of course from the pictures he posted that he would be this Justin Bieber type of gayish dude with a smooth anus, just also with that ****** twist (which further enhanced my growing huge Erection) but his anus wasn't even as tight as I expected.

Fuck me What a bummer!

He was clearly worn out already. Why? Why? Why?!?!?!?! He looked so damn fresh in the Dome. Plus, he had told me in various PM's that he was actually a ****** but he was clearly lying. A set up of true proportions! I was pissed!

As I kept interrogating him (he was now tied up with big ropes and duct tape over his mouth, restrained on the ice cold concrete floor of my basement with loud heavy metal blasting out huge loudspeakers with chainsaws in the background loud as fuck too), tears were streaming down his pretty face as he kept whispering, david haye, david haye david haye, david haye........

Then I let him go. Poor fella.

[phallus]

I know Oasis Lad wouldn't disappoint

Once again, my Kung-Fu grip drives away another potential life partner.

Poet - A+. I can honestly say that I expected this one to be bad going in, but I was in a dry spell and found myself in desperate need for a hole to unload my love pudding inside of - ANY hole.

The night started off well with Poet inviting me over to his mother's basement where we ended up sharing a TV dinner and watching old "Buck Rogers" reruns. As the night wore on I could tell he was incredibly lonely and began questioning if I were a bad person for exploiting this simply for ***ual gratification. That doubt eventually dissipated once Poet made his move.

After some mutual fondling on the couch we stripped each other down and began foreplay. I was very impressed that his breasts were larger than those of any girl I'd ever ****ed before, so I spent quite a while playing with his *******. Even when completely naked, he was as shy as anybody I'd ever met and I could see that he just wasn't comfortable enough to really enjoy what was going to happen, so I slipped a roofie in his mountain dew while he wasn't looking.

Pretty soon Poet was passed completely-the-**** out and I began to have my way with his jiggly ass. I was kind of weirded out by all the 80s hair metal band tattoos he'd tattooed all over his ass cheeks, but I managed to put it out of my mind while I did the deed.

Poet woke up before I could finish but he was still groggy and defenseless so, at the point of ******, I rolled his fat ass over, squeezed his flappy man t*ts together, and thrust my c*ck between them until I unloaded several ropes of stringy homemade yogurt all over his Woody Allen glasses.

Poet passed out again shortly after I'd given him a bountiful facial and, not wanting to be around when he woke up, I quickly dressed myself and left the house.

...and whiskey. Lots of whiskey.

B.U.R.N.E.R - F. Utterly atrocious without a single redeeming quality whatsoever. For starters, he reeked of cheap Mexican brick weed, Old Milwaukee, and cool ranch 'Doritos.' This made making out impossible and caused me to have to wear a sander's mask just to get close enough to mount his greasy ass.

To further complicate matters, he started chatting me up about inane conspiracy theories from the very moment I foced my swollen red mushroom tip inside of his unkempt balloon knot.

"Yo dawg...you think the illuminati are poisoning our water supply and giving us cancer?"

"No, Burner. I don't."

"...So you think it's the government then?"

"No, Burner. Our water supply is fine. Can we just get back to ****ing now?"

"Yeah, yeah. My bad, man. I was just sayin', y'know?...So do you think that all those annoying atheists on the internet are actually a secret society of shape-shifting reptiles tryin'a undermine our values and turn our children into faggots?"

I tried to pay no mind to what he was saying but, truthfully, my stomach started to feel queasy. Maybe I'd had an exciting fantasy or a thrilling dream once or twice in my life where I was taking ***ual advantage of a certified ****** before but now that I was actually doing it I couldn't derive any pleasure from it at all. All I felt was shame and self-loathing.

Desperate to make my escape, I told him that I thought I'd seen a UFO filled with racist Floyd haters pass by the bedroom window and was stunned at how quickly he jumped through the window to give chase.

oasis lad is hung like a ****ing haggus, lolz don't spread cheeks for the bringer though, he'll kiss and tell

[spytactics]

How am I "trying to be like Anorak", exactly? Because I posted something funny, or because I posted something gay?

I've been making gay threads and pwn threads since 2006. Check my history or ask some of the old-school members like Oasis Lad, Hoff, -Hyperion-, Dwiens421, or warp1432. This isn't some new shoe I'm trying on here, you just don't seem to know my history very well.

Because it just isnt as funny when you do it. It just comes naturally to annie and its funny as hell when he does it. When you post these "funny" stories i get a sense that they are missing that flair...anorak just has this style on lock.