Mang, there's this big fat ass ***** who works at my job who is so goddamn fat you can literally sense the pressure the Earth is experiencing as she steps each dainty goddamn step. Besides being so fat her heart deserves a goddamn medal for keepin her big ass animated instead of inert as she should be she is also an *******.
She is of a size and mien of a hippopotamus. She looks like the goddamn animal despite her wearing the same amount of make-up as Bozo. Plus she thinks she's the same rank as the Sheriff based on her years of service(which probably exceeds his) but she is basically a ****in office assistant.
I was just returning from a week's vacation and this ***** gives me attitude because SHE ****ed up and failed to communicate what was goin on today with applicants who were being interviewed for our head honcho position at Work Release. Soooo, she calls down and gives me this pissy "why wasn't this *****"(my words) sent right up when she came in? speech. The chief's are very upset"
I had called her fat ass because the woman asked to see HER and didn't say anything about being there for a ****in interview! Of course, she didn't check her messages cause she was in there kissin ass and Of course ... that was my damn fault! She was probably adding the part about them being pissed to scare me(didn't work) and failing to mention that they thought she was a dumb**** because they had to sit there and listen to her bull**** waitin on the various applicants.
When she left at the end of her day she asked me if all her applicants had arrived ... how the **** should I know? I wasn't privy to her list of duds who were gettin strung along(they already have their candidate) so there was no way for me to know when they all had arrived. She picked up the sign-in sheet and pshawed, "Yes, he's here ... PSHHHHHH or some such ****ty noise like that" and stormed out .... I thought about her giant ass staggering out of the building to her vehicle parked in handicapped parking(I assume her handicap is excess stomach and ass) and I thought as I viewed the cracked tiles she left in her wake ....
GODDAMNIT ... IF SHE EVVVVVVVA ****IN SLIPPED ... THE EQUAL AND OPPOSITE FORCE THAT WILL BE INFLICTED ON OUR PLANET WILL BE A MIGHTY BLOW TO TERRA ....
... and I will most certainly be fired for the laughter that will erupt from my tantien, roar thru my mother****in larynx and buffet her likely, mortally wounded, ghastly and (I pray) still conscious caricature of humanity.
Therefore, she better hope I don't see it. The resulting humiliation and oh ... I pray ... pain to her big bad ass will be more than enough for me to flip off the ***** ass buddies of hers who will be throwin out their backs trying to get her up off the ground.
I will be fired but I think it will be worth it.
She is of a size and mien of a hippopotamus. She looks like the goddamn animal despite her wearing the same amount of make-up as Bozo. Plus she thinks she's the same rank as the Sheriff based on her years of service(which probably exceeds his) but she is basically a ****in office assistant.
I was just returning from a week's vacation and this ***** gives me attitude because SHE ****ed up and failed to communicate what was goin on today with applicants who were being interviewed for our head honcho position at Work Release. Soooo, she calls down and gives me this pissy "why wasn't this *****"(my words) sent right up when she came in? speech. The chief's are very upset"
I had called her fat ass because the woman asked to see HER and didn't say anything about being there for a ****in interview! Of course, she didn't check her messages cause she was in there kissin ass and Of course ... that was my damn fault! She was probably adding the part about them being pissed to scare me(didn't work) and failing to mention that they thought she was a dumb**** because they had to sit there and listen to her bull**** waitin on the various applicants.
When she left at the end of her day she asked me if all her applicants had arrived ... how the **** should I know? I wasn't privy to her list of duds who were gettin strung along(they already have their candidate) so there was no way for me to know when they all had arrived. She picked up the sign-in sheet and pshawed, "Yes, he's here ... PSHHHHHH or some such ****ty noise like that" and stormed out .... I thought about her giant ass staggering out of the building to her vehicle parked in handicapped parking(I assume her handicap is excess stomach and ass) and I thought as I viewed the cracked tiles she left in her wake ....
GODDAMNIT ... IF SHE EVVVVVVVA ****IN SLIPPED ... THE EQUAL AND OPPOSITE FORCE THAT WILL BE INFLICTED ON OUR PLANET WILL BE A MIGHTY BLOW TO TERRA ....
... and I will most certainly be fired for the laughter that will erupt from my tantien, roar thru my mother****in larynx and buffet her likely, mortally wounded, ghastly and (I pray) still conscious caricature of humanity.
Therefore, she better hope I don't see it. The resulting humiliation and oh ... I pray ... pain to her big bad ass will be more than enough for me to flip off the ***** ass buddies of hers who will be throwin out their backs trying to get her up off the ground.
I will be fired but I think it will be worth it.
Comment