Football Soccer Football Soccer Football Soccer

[squealpiggy]

This is the first time I have ever read something on here that truly put me in a bad mood.

This is goldern:

Mancini said: "By the time we get to Bendtner, it's going to be obvious we're just taking the piss, but to be honest that's just going to make it even better when we follow it up with a £21m bid for Almunia.

"It's going to be difficult to keep a straight face when Almunia holds up a City shirt up, especially as he will drop it several times - but it'll be totally worth it."

[RichCCFC]

[Bossy]

This is goldern:

Mancini said: "By the time we get to Bendtner, it's going to be obvious we're just taking the piss, but to be honest that's just going to make it even better when we follow it up with a £21m bid for Almunia.

"It's going to be difficult to keep a straight face when Almunia holds up a City shirt up, especially as he will drop it several times - but it'll be totally worth it."

Nothing like rubbing salt in an open wound, huh?

[BoZz]

I hope my Bosnian bro sends Portugal to hell

[BoZz]

[squealpiggy]

Nothing like rubbing salt in an open wound, huh?

Don't worry, the government is doing something about it.



Ridiculing Arsenal to become a hate crime

ARSENAL are to be granted legal protection from the relentless taunts of opposing fans, it has been confirmed.

Publicly enjoying Arsenal's embarrassment will now be classed as a hate crime after Arsene Wenger's side were beaten 4-3 by a Blackburn team whose last victory was during the Crimean War.

Blackburn fan Wayne Hayes said: "Watching the match was like watching somebody kicking a child's wheelchair down the steps of the Eiffel Tower for 90 minutes, only far less entertaining than that actually sounds.

"Imagine a fat, middle-aged bloke like me pulling Lindsay Lohan. It would be impossible to enjoy the experience as I'd be unable to ignore the depths to which she had sunk."

The FA has agreed to extend the scope of their Let's Kick Racism Out Of Football campaign to include a Can Everyone Please Stop Pointing At Koscielny And Giggling section.

Ex footballers will also tour schools to promote a more tolerant attitude toward the team and explain that playing for Arsenal could happen to anybody.

An FA spokesman said: "On the face of it, it's easy to laugh at Wenger's crestfallen incomprehension and his magisterial inability to shoulder any of the blame, to titter about the team's complete absence of backbone and to guffaw at the gulf between them and the top teams they used to compete against.

"Sorry, where was I going with this?"

[Bossy]

Don't worry, the government is doing something about it.



Ridiculing Arsenal to become a hate crime

ARSENAL are to be granted legal protection from the relentless taunts of opposing fans, it has been confirmed.

Publicly enjoying Arsenal's embarrassment will now be classed as a hate crime after Arsene Wenger's side were beaten 4-3 by a Blackburn team whose last victory was during the Crimean War.

Blackburn fan Wayne Hayes said: "Watching the match was like watching somebody kicking a child's wheelchair down the steps of the Eiffel Tower for 90 minutes, only far less entertaining than that actually sounds.

"Imagine a fat, middle-aged bloke like me pulling Lindsay Lohan. It would be impossible to enjoy the experience as I'd be unable to ignore the depths to which she had sunk."

The FA has agreed to extend the scope of their Let's Kick Racism Out Of Football campaign to include a Can Everyone Please Stop Pointing At Koscielny And Giggling section.

Ex footballers will also tour schools to promote a more tolerant attitude toward the team and explain that playing for Arsenal could happen to anybody.

An FA spokesman said: "On the face of it, it's easy to laugh at Wenger's crestfallen incomprehension and his magisterial inability to shoulder any of the blame, to titter about the team's complete absence of backbone and to guffaw at the gulf between them and the top teams they used to compete against.

"Sorry, where was I going with this?"

Would you be terribly offended if I called you a ****ing ****?

[squealpiggy]

Would you be terribly offended if I called you a ****ing ****?

Eboué puts his feet up and reads paper

ARSENE Wenger has been warned by his last remaining player, Emmanuelle Eboué, that he never, ever plans to leave.

As everybody else in the squad expressed their desire to play anywhere else in the world that isn’t Arsenal, the Ivorian football-avoider told his manager that he would need a court injunction to stop him turning up for training for the next fifty years.

Wenger said “Not many people know that our move to the Emirates Stadium was just an elaborate attempt to give Emmanuel the slip, but he found out where we were hiding when chasing after a clearance he’d shanked out of Highbury during a practice match with himself.

“He admitted he hadn’t noticed that nobody else was around, just assuming that the fact he was sedately strolling up and down the wing without sight of another player or the ball meant it was just another training session.”

The nominally-speaking defender was signed by Wenger in 2005 after he won a bet with fellow manager José Mourinho to see who could find the least useful thing to put onto a football pitch, with Mourinho’s suggestion of ‘A thin coating of Hollandaise sauce” coming second.

Since then he has endeared himself to Arsenal fans by spending the majority of his time during matches by wandering around the stands signing autographs and asking them whether they’ve read any good books recently.

Eboué said “Fabregas wants to join his boyhood club, Nasri wants to win trophies and Bendtner wants to find a club that’s prepared to erect a statue of him outside the ground that depicts Einstein and Da Vinci sat at his feet in rapt attention of his godlike genius.

“But I’m quite happy to potter around here for the foreseeable future and earn more money than the staff of an A&E ward per week for occasionally redirecting a ball, if it’s all the same to everyone.”

[Bossy]

Eboué puts his feet up and reads paper

ARSENE Wenger has been warned by his last remaining player, Emmanuelle Eboué, that he never, ever plans to leave.

As everybody else in the squad expressed their desire to play anywhere else in the world that isn’t Arsenal, the Ivorian football-avoider told his manager that he would need a court injunction to stop him turning up for training for the next fifty years.

Wenger said “Not many people know that our move to the Emirates Stadium was just an elaborate attempt to give Emmanuel the slip, but he found out where we were hiding when chasing after a clearance he’d shanked out of Highbury during a practice match with himself.

“He admitted he hadn’t noticed that nobody else was around, just assuming that the fact he was sedately strolling up and down the wing without sight of another player or the ball meant it was just another training session.”

The nominally-speaking defender was signed by Wenger in 2005 after he won a bet with fellow manager José Mourinho to see who could find the least useful thing to put onto a football pitch, with Mourinho’s suggestion of ‘A thin coating of Hollandaise sauce” coming second.

Since then he has endeared himself to Arsenal fans by spending the majority of his time during matches by wandering around the stands signing autographs and asking them whether they’ve read any good books recently.

Eboué said “Fabregas wants to join his boyhood club, Nasri wants to win trophies and Bendtner wants to find a club that’s prepared to erect a statue of him outside the ground that depicts Einstein and Da Vinci sat at his feet in rapt attention of his godlike genius.

“But I’m quite happy to potter around here for the foreseeable future and earn more money than the staff of an A&E ward per week for occasionally redirecting a ball, if it’s all the same to everyone.”

I will take this post as a no, no you will not be offended.

You sir, are a ****ing ****.

[squealpiggy]

Wenger throws Fabregas' clothes into garden
08-08-11
NEIGHBOURS of Arsenal have called the police after Arsene Wenger had a screaming argument with Cesc Fabregas in the early hours of the morning.

As a man described as looking like Pep Guardiola waited outside in a black cab, the Arsenal captain was heard asking Wenger to calm down and stop making a scene. Police arrived, but Wenger asked them to leave, saying that it was between him and his man.

Neighbour Tom Logan said: "Cesc was telling Arsene that he'd just moved on as a person and that he hoped they could one day play a friendly together.

"Arsene sat on the front doorstep, rocking back and forth, clutching a photo of the pair of them holding the FA Cup in 2005 and saying 'you said you'd never leave' to himself over and over again."


Don't stare at him, it's cruel

The pair had enjoyed a tumultuous relationship since Wenger shocked the rest of Arsenal by returning from a city break in Barcelona with the midfielder in tow.

Despite the manager lavishing the midfielder with gifts such as a lengthy contract and the captaincy, some grew su****ious of the reason behind his frequent trips back to his former home in Barcelona.

One Arsenal insider said: "He'd go missing for a week at a time and come home reeking of trophies but Arsene believed him when he said he was just visiting friends. I think deep down he knew he could never hang on to a player who's much younger and more talented than he ever thought he could bag, but he just won't admit that it’s over. I think he just loves how being with a player like Fabregas makes him feel."

Wenger is currently being comforted by the rest of the Arsenal squad, with Emmanuel Eboué asking the manager if Fabregas' departure means they can give things another try.