The official Mayweather-Marquez 24/7 drinking game
As Ricky Hatton’s fans can tell you, boxing and beverage are a perfect combination. With the aid of a couple of six-packs, that “Hatton Wonderland” song sounds like “Eleanor Rigby,” ugly clinching looks like clever infighting, and the pain of a quick knockout loss is so dulled that you joyously sing “Hatton Wonderland” after the fight anyway. Thank God for alcohol.
I happen not to be a big drinker; it’s hard enough for me to stay awake for fights that start after 11:30 p.m. on the east coast when I don’t have any depressants in my system. But I can appreciate that a great many fight fans enjoy knocking back a cold one as they watch fighters get knocked cold on their back. And what better way to drink than with the help of a drinking game?
Last night, the latest edition of HBO’s 24/7, focusing on the upcoming Floyd Mayweather Jr.-Juan Manuel Marquez fight, premiered. There are still three episodes left before fight night, so that means plenty of opportunities to get your drink on. So, please designate a driver, keep the beer-before-liquor rule straight and enjoy THE RING’s official Mayweather-Marquez 24/7 Drinking Game:
• Drink a shot of tequila every time a Marquez family member speaks Spanish and subtitles appear on the screen.
• Drink three shots of tequila every time a Mayweather family member speaks English and subtitles appear on the screen.
• Drink heavily whenever Mayweather is shown risking a second fight-postponing injury by roller skating, either in public or in his home. (Of course, HBO Pay-Per-View executives, Golden Boy Promotions executives and everyone else financially invested in the fight don’t need this drinking game to tell them to hit the bottle for that.)
• Pour one out for Nat Fleischer anytime a member of Team Marquez is shown wearing a T-shirt with THE RING logo.
• Make a cheesy, clichéd toast and then take a sip anytime Marquez says something that sounds like a quote straight out of a motivational poster with a picture of an eagle soaring or a wild elephant reaching for a high branch. (Examples: “Without risk, there is no gain,” “Each person writes his own story.”)
• Fill your mouth with beer, then spit out the beer in disbelief each time the 24/7 narrator twists the truth to fit the show’s purposes. (Example: Mayweather’s 2007 win over Oscar De La Hoya is referred to as “decisive” to push the agenda that Mayweather retired with nothing to prove.)
• Drink a glass of milk every time Tommy Gallagher shows a nipple. (Oops, wrong boxing-reality-show drinking game. Sorry ‘bout that.)
• Drink once if Mayweather refers to himself in the first-person, three times if he refers to himself in the third-person and finish every drink in the house if he starts referring to himself in the second-person.
• Drink an Amaretto Sour but refer to it as an “Armadillo Sour” every time Roger Mayweather intends to say that his nephew misses the limelight but refers to it as the “lamplight.”
• Drink out of a whiskey bottle inside of a paper bag if you’re buying the notion of Floyd Mayweather Jr. as a humanitarian who gives back to the community regardless of whether the 24/7 cameras are around.
• Drink the cheapest liquor you can find if you resent Mayweather for showing off his house and bragging about how everything in it is “paid for” even though there are reports that he owes the IRS $6-million and 10 percent of the people watching the show are unemployed.
• Drink a dirty martini every time Nacho Beristain drops a Spanish F-bomb.
• Drink frothy milk that ends up on your upper lip if, in future episodes, the 24/7 crew catches Beristain brushing Just For Men into his jarringly dark moustache.
• Order a Screaming Viking from Woody Boyd every time Mayweather insists his return isn’t about money at all.
• Drink a “Prison Bitch” (yes, that’s a real drink) every time a newspaper headline is shown suggesting a Mayweather is in trouble with the law.
• Drink a kiddie juice box every time Marquez’s daughter takes a cheap shot at her brother and clocks him in the back of the neck after they blow out the candles on Daddy’s cake. Drink again if you wonder why Marquez still hasn’t earned enough money to afford a cake knife.
• Drink a White Russian if, on next week’s episode, Marquez is training in the mountains, runs to the top of the highest peak he can find and yells, “Dragooooo!” Drink another one if, at some point in the same episode, Roger Mayweather gets a sassy robot to deliver him drinks.
• Drink the world’s most pointless drink, O’Doul’s, whenever the narrator ruins Mayweather’s pointless plan to keep the 144-pound weight limit for this fight a secret.
• Chug whatever’s left in your mug when an episode ends with a fighter landing a punch on a hand pad or speed bag and then staring confidently into the camera.
• Take a sip every time Mayweather’s rebuilt relationship with his dad makes you want to pick up the phone and call your dad – and thank him for not being Floyd Mayweather Sr.
RING
I happen not to be a big drinker; it’s hard enough for me to stay awake for fights that start after 11:30 p.m. on the east coast when I don’t have any depressants in my system. But I can appreciate that a great many fight fans enjoy knocking back a cold one as they watch fighters get knocked cold on their back. And what better way to drink than with the help of a drinking game?
Last night, the latest edition of HBO’s 24/7, focusing on the upcoming Floyd Mayweather Jr.-Juan Manuel Marquez fight, premiered. There are still three episodes left before fight night, so that means plenty of opportunities to get your drink on. So, please designate a driver, keep the beer-before-liquor rule straight and enjoy THE RING’s official Mayweather-Marquez 24/7 Drinking Game:
• Drink a shot of tequila every time a Marquez family member speaks Spanish and subtitles appear on the screen.
• Drink three shots of tequila every time a Mayweather family member speaks English and subtitles appear on the screen.
• Drink heavily whenever Mayweather is shown risking a second fight-postponing injury by roller skating, either in public or in his home. (Of course, HBO Pay-Per-View executives, Golden Boy Promotions executives and everyone else financially invested in the fight don’t need this drinking game to tell them to hit the bottle for that.)
• Pour one out for Nat Fleischer anytime a member of Team Marquez is shown wearing a T-shirt with THE RING logo.
• Make a cheesy, clichéd toast and then take a sip anytime Marquez says something that sounds like a quote straight out of a motivational poster with a picture of an eagle soaring or a wild elephant reaching for a high branch. (Examples: “Without risk, there is no gain,” “Each person writes his own story.”)
• Fill your mouth with beer, then spit out the beer in disbelief each time the 24/7 narrator twists the truth to fit the show’s purposes. (Example: Mayweather’s 2007 win over Oscar De La Hoya is referred to as “decisive” to push the agenda that Mayweather retired with nothing to prove.)
• Drink a glass of milk every time Tommy Gallagher shows a nipple. (Oops, wrong boxing-reality-show drinking game. Sorry ‘bout that.)
• Drink once if Mayweather refers to himself in the first-person, three times if he refers to himself in the third-person and finish every drink in the house if he starts referring to himself in the second-person.
• Drink an Amaretto Sour but refer to it as an “Armadillo Sour” every time Roger Mayweather intends to say that his nephew misses the limelight but refers to it as the “lamplight.”
• Drink out of a whiskey bottle inside of a paper bag if you’re buying the notion of Floyd Mayweather Jr. as a humanitarian who gives back to the community regardless of whether the 24/7 cameras are around.
• Drink the cheapest liquor you can find if you resent Mayweather for showing off his house and bragging about how everything in it is “paid for” even though there are reports that he owes the IRS $6-million and 10 percent of the people watching the show are unemployed.
• Drink a dirty martini every time Nacho Beristain drops a Spanish F-bomb.
• Drink frothy milk that ends up on your upper lip if, in future episodes, the 24/7 crew catches Beristain brushing Just For Men into his jarringly dark moustache.
• Order a Screaming Viking from Woody Boyd every time Mayweather insists his return isn’t about money at all.
• Drink a “Prison Bitch” (yes, that’s a real drink) every time a newspaper headline is shown suggesting a Mayweather is in trouble with the law.
• Drink a kiddie juice box every time Marquez’s daughter takes a cheap shot at her brother and clocks him in the back of the neck after they blow out the candles on Daddy’s cake. Drink again if you wonder why Marquez still hasn’t earned enough money to afford a cake knife.
• Drink a White Russian if, on next week’s episode, Marquez is training in the mountains, runs to the top of the highest peak he can find and yells, “Dragooooo!” Drink another one if, at some point in the same episode, Roger Mayweather gets a sassy robot to deliver him drinks.
• Drink the world’s most pointless drink, O’Doul’s, whenever the narrator ruins Mayweather’s pointless plan to keep the 144-pound weight limit for this fight a secret.
• Chug whatever’s left in your mug when an episode ends with a fighter landing a punch on a hand pad or speed bag and then staring confidently into the camera.
• Take a sip every time Mayweather’s rebuilt relationship with his dad makes you want to pick up the phone and call your dad – and thank him for not being Floyd Mayweather Sr.
RING
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