An appointment with Porter...

[RightJab]

Lmao how can Kells performance be connected to ***ual acts? I've a feeling choco brownie will help doe....Easy!

[Canelo Phresh]

I actually thought it was a close fight, because Kell was doing a lot of holding and mauling, and Porter was throwing loads.

When the scores were wide, I thought he'd got Fat Yanked. I had £10 on him (wide odds for what I thought was a 50-50 fight) so I was relieved. It was a good performance from Brook, but not a classic one............ though I'll pretend otherwise when I discuss it in NSB.

By the 9th I knew Brook should win. I was telling my dad Brook is getting robbed. Then when the English judge had it a draw and the 2 American judges had it for Brook I was pleasantly surprised.

I do wonder if the Green Teefers overcompensate to avoid accusations... remember that only one judge didn't see Froch-Ward as close.

[Butler]

i'm still waiting for anorak - rockin' love affair

[pesticid]

I enjoyed reading another bumming masterpiece although I was hoping for the real star, Kell to show up, I was hoping for that slow, precise 1-2 bumming. It's so monotone it actually puts you to sleep and when you shake your bun buns trying to entice him to become a bit more vigorous, he gives you a tight hug just to let you know that it's his bed and his rules.

Well, at least he wears short red shorts with boots to match.

I used to admire his oily tanned body even fearing for my wife's "safety box" but after he put up this passive aggressive performance against "Bumming Time" I no longer feel insecure about my own physical prowess.

It seemed like he did the bumming with a condom. It was highly restrained and unromantic. His bumming skills are devoid of passion and while he does know timing, his bumming craft seems like a foreplay after foreplay without any real intercourse ever taking place.

He's really a mellow type of a husband, somebody who wouldn't mind a cuckold role to a fresher, darker meat that know spontaneity, can hit it and spoil you with a money shot. To bum or not to bum Keith "Bumming Time" Thurman...

[Bardock]

When it was my time to be bummed by Shawn Porter, I was somewhat trepidatious. The whole of NSB had been telling me for months that he would "streamroller my over-hyped Limey asshole" in bed, and promises that "your rectum will never be the same after Shawn has pummelled you in the ring" left me with a feeling of dread.

When we came down to it, Shawn had a saying he liked to yell out: "WHAT TIME IS IT?" to which I had to answer "bumming time." I felt like a fool, and meekly uttered it out of a sense of dutiful politeness whenever Shawn said it... which was frequently. The more I answered "bumming time", the more idiotic I felt, and the more my sphinchter cried out for his phallus to ease its burden.

Well, when Shawn finally pulled out his old fella, it became clear that he didn't know what to do with it. His stamina and workrate was spectacular, and he managed about a thousand thrusts in a short space of time. The only problem is, none of them were on target. I had his bell end on the back of my head, up my nose, on my back, on my arms, on my legs... the guy was such a complete ****** it was as if he simply couldn't bum on target to save his life.

When I'd finished off making love to him - my old fella not as active, but sharp and on target - he was unrepentant, and insisted he'd given me some sweet love.

"Me and my team gonna look at the tape, but we know we delivered a good bumming tonight, and we don't need to change a thing."

I shook my head and left him behind, closing the door on his one-dimensional delusion. As soon as I did so, I heard a low moan.

"Shawn," I said, "please, I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry." I rushed back in the room, only to find that he was crying not out of sorrow, but out of the discharge of love sap... Mannyphresh was on his knees before him, sucking the piping hot cum out of his taddywhacker like a man urgently sucking snake venom from a wound.

"more, more!" cried out Mannyphresh, "you DID bum him, Shawn, I promise... that limey's going back to Europe in the UK with a ruptured colon."

I shook my head, sadly, and left them both to their private moment of fellatio consolment.

lmao wtf........

Nice work, Pesticid.

It was certainly more in the "do what he had to do" category than the one marked "excitement". I bet even Bernard Hopkins fell asleep.

[pesticid]

I think you should hire an animator/cartooner who could illustrate your bumming stories and set up a channel on youtube. I think it would be a hit and seeing how youtube stars who comment on video games make around a million dollars per year from subscriptions...it's a long shot but since you're really good at storytelling, you might as well take your talents more seriously and start making that money.

[Sparked_26]

Has there been a Deontay Wilder love session yet? How would his devastating one punch power translate to a single thrust arse breaker?

You should defo write a bumming blog, Anorak. I don't know how much time you could commit to it but some crude drawings of events would tip it over the top.

Cheers man. I did write a Deontay story, but not only was this before I knew New England was a fan, but it was below par.

I'll do a new one when he gets knocked out... which won't be long, surely.