RIP Paul Mata AKA Zaroku

[Citizen Koba]

RIP the Z man, a true legend of the site, never failed to bring a smile to my face. Philosopher, comic and in his own way a big hearted genius. Never got to meet him in person but wish I had... Will be sorely missed.

[BKM-]

We met more than a few years ago... Most people may not be aware but Z was an incredibly intelligent, well educated individual. He was a character in real life in a nice way but it was a CHOICE. We shared a burrito and I must say given this trajedy I am glad I made the effort to see him.

I believe you, but I don't understand why he hid behind the persona on here? Never had a genuine back and forth with him, ever. He was always trying to come across a certain way and I couldn't figure out his angle. I don't know how he passed away but I have to wonder if maybe it had something to do with it in terms of his mental health. R.I.P. to the man.

[BodiesInFlight]

A lot of his comments were.......unique.
He admitted to occasionally par take in the herbals and baked goods

I wish I would have taken him up on his Japanese wimmin offers

I think it was something a wee bit stronger than anything herbal lol

[billeau2]

I believe you, but I don't understand why he hid behind the persona on here? Never had a genuine back and forth with him, ever. He was always trying to come across a certain way and I couldn't figure out his angle. I don't know how he passed away but I have to wonder if maybe it had something to do with it in terms of his mental health. R.I.P. to the man.

Some people enjoy a persona... A voice or identity they assume. I can kind of relate because like Z I had a bifurcated upbringing. Both of us were raised on the streets but also became very well educated.

It's kind of like having two personalities... Two ways of relating to the world. You choose one. Z liked that hood voice .

[BKM-]

Some people enjoy a persona... A voice or identity they assume. I can kind of relate because like Z I had a bifurcated upbringing. Both of us were raised on the streets but also became very well educated.

It's kind of like having two personalities... Two ways of relating to the world. You choose one. Z liked that hood voice .

I'm not sure it was even a persona, It was so odd I didn't know what he was going for. Honestly if you didn't vouch for this thread I wouldn't have put it beyond the realm of possibility that it's a hoax. Simply because I never felt like I was communicating with a genuine individual and it was so out there. Since it appears to be true though I get the impression that it has a tragic backstory. Guess they want to keep it private which is understandable.

[billeau2]

I'm not sure it was even a persona, It was so odd I didn't know what he was going for. Honestly if you didn't vouch for this thread I wouldn't have put it beyond the realm of possibility that it's a hoax. Simply because I never felt like I was communicating with a genuine individual and it was so out there. Since it appears to be true though I get the impression that it has a tragic backstory. Guess they want to keep it private which is understandable.

Z was very real... I met him lol. Yes, sometimes people act a certain way for reasons that escape us. I can't in good conscience defend Z's choices, because he was so outspoken lol. But let me try to give you some insight.

Tragedy often happens when we strive for a lofty goal, including an illegal enterprise... Many very very smart people who grew up in the hood, like Z (and I put myself in this category as well), try, at some point, to make a career out of hustling and avoiding prison. I learned my lesson before going to the big house lol, but I was lucky (it has nothing to do with intelligence). The system is really good and it catches up to you eventually. It just does... It always will except for people who we will never know. If anyone knows you have a good hustle, the system will know, it is as simple as that.

Z eventually realized this... But here is the thing: I raised up two boys, have a Master's degree, so does my wife, my kids, one has a college dual degree, my other not yet, BUT there is still a part of me of that world. I did things legally and smart to raise my family, but at least some of that approach came from understanding the mechanics of the street. Z was, in this way, similar to me. He had a very high technical position, went to a great school for his advanced degree (Berkeley), but always had conflicts related to his other life. You NEVER really escape that life. I was fortunate to be able to leave most of that behind, Z, i suspect was not so fortunate in this way... I got that impression when we met and shared a meal together.

This conflict creates problems and tragedy. Your cousins, etc they do something ****** and pull you in. I think Z's posting style was a reflection that he still had a lot of stones to overturn in that world. He had family involved with crime, etc. It became a way for him to express this part of his personality. That is how I see it. So he was not trolling in the sense that someone comes on the site to just start things up... His posting voice was an outlet for him. I can tell you he loved this place... Jade will confirm this. I just cannot really tell you that this post is correct, because I am assuming a lot due to having a lot of similarities socio-economically with Z. It is my opinion... I only wish Z could speak about it.

[BKM-]

Z was very real... I met him lol. Yes, sometimes people act a certain way for reasons that escape us. I can't in good conscience defend Z's choices, because he was so outspoken lol. But let me try to give you some insight.

Tragedy often happens when we strive for a lofty goal, including an illegal enterprise... Many very very smart people who grew up in the hood, like Z (and I put myself in this category as well), try, at some point, to make a career out of hustling and avoiding prison. I learned my lesson before going to the big house lol, but I was lucky (it has nothing to do with intelligence). The system is really good and it catches up to you eventually. It just does... It always will except for people who we will never know. If anyone knows you have a good hustle, the system will know, it is as simple as that.

Z eventually realized this... But here is the thing: I raised up two boys, have a Master's degree, so does my wife, my kids, one has a college dual degree, my other not yet, BUT there is still a part of me of that world. I did things legally and smart to raise my family, but at least some of that approach came from understanding the mechanics of the street. Z was, in this way, similar to me. He had a very high technical position, went to a great school for his advanced degree (Berkeley), but always had conflicts related to his other life. You NEVER really escape that life. I was fortunate to be able to leave most of that behind, Z, i suspect was not so fortunate in this way... I got that impression when we met and shared a meal together.

This conflict creates problems and tragedy. Your cousins, etc they do something ****** and pull you in. I think Z's posting style was a reflection that he still had a lot of stones to overturn in that world. He had family involved with crime, etc. It became a way for him to express this part of his personality. That is how I see it. So he was not trolling in the sense that someone comes on the site to just start things up... His posting voice was an outlet for him. I can tell you he loved this place... Jade will confirm this. I just cannot really tell you that this post is correct, because I am assuming a lot due to having a lot of similarities socio-economically with Z. It is my opinion... I only wish Z could speak about it.

I think I finally understand him somewhat now lol. Took me long enough. Sad that now that I do, he's no longer with us.

[billeau2]

I think I finally understand him somewhat now lol. Took me long enough. Sad that now that I do, he's no longer with us.

People are always complicated. This world makes us have to carry baggage unless we go to some place and isolate ourselves. Which, not coincidentally lol, is what I decided to do! . Now that my two boys are out of the nest, my wife and my two dogs, we left San Francisco a year and a half ago to live in a small town in idaho.

I know that Japan is a departure from life in the Bay Area... Z's people are located near San Jose, which is about 2 hours and some change from San Francisco... Japan would have definitely been a different world for Z. San Jose and San francisco are similar enough lol... I mean Z could have gotten a technology career in the area, but decided to go to a different place (Japan). Both areas are expensive to live in!

I do not think Z would mind me sharing the fact that his family had some conflicts that made it tough for him. He actually had property and other interests in the San Jose area and had to keep a careful eye on things. You know... Sometimes family knows you have means and makes requests, also illegal activities can threaten legal interests. But he also made it clear that he came from a big and loving family and he had a lot of love for them. Even on these boards he has described his sister who was a colorful individual lol.

I hope this helps... I obviously did not know him really well, but given how much he loved this place... and he really did love this place... I think he would approve of sharing some of the details he shared with me. I do not know how he passed, and frankly? I would not ask about it because to me, it does not matter. Felt the same way about Larry... When someone leaves us, how they left us might be a curiosity but the fact remains, we have their memory and why tarnish it? I told my sons that when I pass I really do n ot want people to "see me." I want to be remembered as I was alive, not as a corpse. To me this same logic applies here. Larry and Z were both a wonderful presence on the boards here. I did get to send larry a nice book about Memphis! I know he loved that city lol.

[siablo14]

Awww man. This is so sad RIP Big Z.


I myself recently had a health scare. Nothing Id like to talk about but it seems im on the backend of it and getting better daily. We are all mortal. I love you guys and our community, no matter if we agree on things or disagree.

If I die soon, it will be by bullet.

Where is Z's death memorial?

[Santa_]

Where is Z's death memorial?

Jhonny probly ate it and is waiting for Z to come along and pick it up, poor thing