After I'd comfortably bummed Anthony "Lazy Nickname" Joshua last year, he took up his contractual right to try and bum me again.
To be honest, while I was the clear holder of the dominant cock in his ring, people were a bit too harsh on the lad. He did give me the odd thrust, and, while he was a little stiff - and not in the way I wanted - he did a bit better than people gave him credit for.
The same happened this time. He did quite a bit better tbh, and at one point it looked as if he might actually be able to pull me off. But for the last three rounds of bedroom action I was poking him in the eyes with my taddywhacker at a high rate.
But what really struck me was not the bumming itself, but his strange reaction to it.
First of all he got all my condoms and threw them out of the room before storming out himself, then came back in, demanding to know "You're not stiff! How did you bum me?"
Usually with Anthony he'll walk around with a top hat, monocle and cane, along with a tennis racket, saying things like "What ho, old boy, fancy some tea and cricket?" But for some reason this time the daft cunt threw all that aside and started speaking in slang, insisting that he "learnt how to bum in the streets". No one believed him, and it was fucking embarrassing tbh, like spending an hour going down on a girl only to switch the light on and find out it's your gran.
But what got really bad was when Joshua decided to speak forth on modern issues.
"I've heard there's like.... a colour called green... it's supposed to be like the colour of the sky or somethin', is that right?"
Everyone just looked at him like he was the dumbest cunt who ever lived - which he may well have been - and looked on as he continued telling the stadium his thoughts on modern society.
"So I've heard there's like a country called... Spain? And it's... I don't know a lot about it, but I think it's on the moon, is that right?"
On and on he went, as I stood there, thinking "If only he'd shown that aggression in my ring."
"I've heard," he continued, "that there's some kind of animal called a shriek? Or is it a shark? I don't know too much about it, but I heard if it bites your legs off it's not too nice, is that right?"
"I've heard there's a store called... is it McDonald's? I heard they do like... is it food in there?"
In one sense, I felt sorry for the daft twat. He'd clearly lost his mind. Well, it wasn't much to lose, I suppose.
"I've heard," he said, "that if you take a shit, you should... I dunno, wipe your arse or something? Otherwise you'll stain your pants? Is that right?"
I shook my head at the excruciating spectacle. He was still capable of wanking off targets who were more stationary than me, and still something of a dish. He could come again. And cum again. But his reign at the top of the bumming tree was perhaps gone forever.
To be honest, while I was the clear holder of the dominant cock in his ring, people were a bit too harsh on the lad. He did give me the odd thrust, and, while he was a little stiff - and not in the way I wanted - he did a bit better than people gave him credit for.
The same happened this time. He did quite a bit better tbh, and at one point it looked as if he might actually be able to pull me off. But for the last three rounds of bedroom action I was poking him in the eyes with my taddywhacker at a high rate.
But what really struck me was not the bumming itself, but his strange reaction to it.
First of all he got all my condoms and threw them out of the room before storming out himself, then came back in, demanding to know "You're not stiff! How did you bum me?"
Usually with Anthony he'll walk around with a top hat, monocle and cane, along with a tennis racket, saying things like "What ho, old boy, fancy some tea and cricket?" But for some reason this time the daft cunt threw all that aside and started speaking in slang, insisting that he "learnt how to bum in the streets". No one believed him, and it was fucking embarrassing tbh, like spending an hour going down on a girl only to switch the light on and find out it's your gran.
But what got really bad was when Joshua decided to speak forth on modern issues.
"I've heard there's like.... a colour called green... it's supposed to be like the colour of the sky or somethin', is that right?"
Everyone just looked at him like he was the dumbest cunt who ever lived - which he may well have been - and looked on as he continued telling the stadium his thoughts on modern society.
"So I've heard there's like a country called... Spain? And it's... I don't know a lot about it, but I think it's on the moon, is that right?"
On and on he went, as I stood there, thinking "If only he'd shown that aggression in my ring."
"I've heard," he continued, "that there's some kind of animal called a shriek? Or is it a shark? I don't know too much about it, but I heard if it bites your legs off it's not too nice, is that right?"
"I've heard there's a store called... is it McDonald's? I heard they do like... is it food in there?"
In one sense, I felt sorry for the daft twat. He'd clearly lost his mind. Well, it wasn't much to lose, I suppose.
"I've heard," he said, "that if you take a shit, you should... I dunno, wipe your arse or something? Otherwise you'll stain your pants? Is that right?"
I shook my head at the excruciating spectacle. He was still capable of wanking off targets who were more stationary than me, and still something of a dish. He could come again. And cum again. But his reign at the top of the bumming tree was perhaps gone forever.
Madison Boxing
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